When looking at this blog and noticing how long it's been since I've written, I feel silly for letting it go. But then I think about all the changes that have come in that time and I'm grateful. So, so grateful. I feel the need to share the positive.
Very shortly after that last post things started to change a lot. For the better.
Part of that might be attributed to my actions and reactions changing. I tried harder to make sure my daughter knew that I loved her. And I tried harder to let go of the hurtful actions rather than dwelling on them. I know God helped me there.
A huge part of the changes came after my daughter met the man she married later that year. He has had his own issues with his parents and really talked to her a lot about mending fences. I also noticed that there was a maturity about him that was missing in her other "friends".
"Friends" that, strangely enough, literally all disappeared from her life immediately following her wedding reception. She has no contact with any of them, because they stepped out of her life. They stopped returning calls. The family she was living with literally moved to a different city and didn't tell her their address. The "mom" she was living with took beautiful engagement photos and pictures of their wedding. She never gave them the photos! Fortunately they were able to hire a different photographer a year later when they were sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple, so they have the pictures from the more important event. But those "friends" were no longer influencing her, and things changed drastically.
She and her husband now come over for family events. They recently came over for a game night - just to hang out and play games. I call or text and she answers. It is literally a 180° shift. And I'm grateful! I'm grateful for the shift in her and for a wonderful son-in-law!
My son decided to move out a couple months ago. He also decided to move in with a friend and his family. Fortunately a friend he knows a lot better than my daughter knew her "friend". And someone I'd at least met before. And family of some people we know from church. And my son is 19. And he's graduated from high school. And he has a full-time job. And his own car. In other words, he's capable of supporting himself, so it was a completely different situation.
I am so grateful that my daughter encouraged him to do things differently than she did. I'm so grateful that while my husband and I have had our differences and struggles with my son over the years - oh, how we've struggled! - our relationship is at a point where we can tell him our thoughts and opinions and concerns about his choices, but then we can back out of it and let him make his decisions.
I know that as painful as my daughter's actions were, we all learned and grew as a result. All of my children now know how NOT to move out! 😀
And I think most of all, I'm grateful for the transformative journey I've been on. Because apparently I didn't need to repeat the experience with my son that I went through with my daughter. That means I've already made that particular weakness into a strength! I'm grateful that we can decide to make changes to improve and then see those changes manifest in our lives.
What changes are you ready to make in your life? I invite you to make those decisions and move forward. It's awesome to see the progress.
<3,
Brooke
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